When the Body remembers

A reflection on grief, the body, and being held by Nature

When my father passed away, life became very full very quickly.

Doing what needed to be done, organising etc

The first week after returning home, I pulled my back. It was as if my body simply said: Stop, stop, stop.!

If you don't ,I will make you stop!

So I was stopped.

A lot of the time when we are busy moving around after a significant happening we don’t allow the deeper process to move through .Unconsciously we may busy ourself so we done have to.

Well that was me on the couch being rather than doing.

By allowing that space to exist rather then to resist once I had stopped was so precious.

There is that period after loss where parts of life begin again. You may attempt to re-enter the rhythm of the world but something fundamental has shifted.

Nothing is quite the same and that requires to be given space to.

But how can life move forward when parts of your system still feel like they are on hold?Can the world not just stop for a moment?

And yet at the same time, it is also the beauty of life, there is a continuum.

The cycle continues. The Earth keeps turning. It is Spring!

Healing and deeper reflections for me happen often when I go out into Nature

I get so much out of it and it soothes my Soul.I get to create space within my being.

I don’t have an A B C on how to navigate loss

It is a process that is so personal to the individual but I feel it is important to remember the things that sooth you and find those things to support you in great times of change

The loss of a beloved… the physical absence of someone who once stood in the world while you stood in it too.

Regardless of what our relationship with a parent may have been, when they are no longer physically here, something deep shifts inside the system in your family field.

A recalibration begins.

Your system will find a new balance, but it takes time.

So I asked myself the other day

What do I need to support my process today?

The answer was simple.

Get into Nature and just walk, move the body

Connect to your Nature by being in Nature.

So I went into nature with my dog Luna.

I asked the Elements to help hold what I could not hold alone.

I asked the Earth to cradle me as I sat against an Elder tree.

To hold the pain, the hollowness, the emptiness ,without needing to fill it.

I asked the Water to cleanse my tears.

To purify the grief moving through my body.

To offer me clarity when the time is right

I asked the Air to hear my cry.

To carry my voice and my sorrow.

And I asked the Fire to remind me that the flame of my own life continues to burn.

To honour my life, my Ancestors and the gift that was given to me.

Transformation must move through the Fire.

So there I was with Luna beside me.

Hurting.Remembering.Crying.Breathing.

And also able to celebrate life.

All of it existing at the same time.

And maybe what I most want to say is this:

Whatever loss we move through, there are ways we can be supported.

Nature knows how to hold grief and how to hold us.

The Elements know how to receive what we cannot carry alone.

But sometimes we have to ask.

Sometimes we simply have to say:

Please hold me.

With so much love

Sjoukje